I've come to the conclusion that I'm asexual

[TheWolf9]

After years of experimenting with men and woman, I've come to the conclusion that I'm asexual.

I literally don't like sex. Not sure why, but I'm not turned on by it and every time I've tried with both men and woman, it's very uncomfortable for me.

Being asexual means I'm not really attracted to sex at all.

Weird, eh?

[Rich986]

You are far from alone, my friend and there's nothing weird about it at all.

[BootsMcGraw]

...I've come to the conclusion that I'm asexual....Weird, eh?
It's not as unusual as you might think. According to the article "Study: One in 100 adults asexual" from CNN: http://www.cnn.com/2004/TECH/science/10/14/asexual.study/index.html (http://www.cnn.com/2004/TECH/science/10/14/asexual.study/index.html), the incidence of people not having sexual desire is about one percent of the population. You're definitely not alone.

[flickfire]

Wolf, while you may not want to have sex
with a man or woman, do you still desire feet?,
and what role does that play in your life regarding your
sexuality?

[TheWolf9]

Wolf, while you may not want to have sex
with a man or woman, do you still desire feet?,
and what role does that play in your life regarding your
sexuality?


I still desire feet, yes. Specifically Arab or Indian male feet. I would love to worship an Arab man's feet or have my feet worshiped, but that's it. I'm not into oral, anal, or anything involving penis or vaginas

[Head2Foot]

You may not be into sex---fucking and sucking and such---but are you into sensuality? Do you have any interest in touching or being touched, petted, stroked? How about bodily aromas? Or perhaps the visual aspect of others? Actually, the whole interest in feet is a sensual thing; people are turned on by the touch, smell, or visual shape of feet---all very sensual. That sensuality can extend to the rest of the body without necessarily involving any hard-core sex acts.

But the main question for you, Wolf9: are you okay with being asexual? How did you feel about this realization?

[ropedfeet]

You don't have to have sex with, or like having sex with, another person to be "sexual"...People have sexual fun in many different ways. If you like to, or can, get off and you enjoy that then I think There is no "problem"...I would not make a big deal about it unless you are not happy.

People can be Sexual in many ways.

[Franz]

Ropedfeed is right of course. It's always surprised me how many guys who are passionately into guys' feet seem not to understand or realize that our passion for feet is our sexual response and reaction. For many individual male feet enthusiasts I know, they don't seem to understand that for men like us our sexual reaction/response to another guy's feet IS our expression of our sexual nature. Many foot lovers I have know can't get "into it" unless the other guy's feet come into play, and for more than a few the play with the feet is really all he is interested in and truly responds to--not coital or anal sex but foot sex. Some of us like all of it with the other man, but some guys are interested and respond only to another man's feet. But, as Ropie says in effect, it's all good S-E-X.

[Rich986]

A lot of good advice and observations flowing here. I hope Wolf9 feels better about himself (but then maybe he never felt bad about his "situation").

[ftlaudft]

Where in the cookbook is that recipe for good sex? Is there a recipe that will make everybody happy? A one-size-fits-all solution? A bluebird of happiness for every birdcage? A plum pudding to delight all palates?

Probably not. Maybe each of us should be asking a different question. Wolfie, for example, should be asking not for a recipe for good sex but rather for a recipe for good sex FOR WOLFIE. As the above posters have suggested, sex is good. Enjoying feet with or without other body parts is good. It's all OK. And it's YOUR answer for YOUR question that counts.

I'm very impressed with the pix posted by Footlover28 in the Video Captures thread of a performance of Mozart's ""Don Giovanni"' from the 2009 Macerata Opera Festival. Ildebrando D''Arcangelo is the Giovanni and Andrea Concetti is his servant Leporello. The two frequently are on Giovanni's bed together and roughhouse like army buddies with obvious affection. They touch each other's bodies, body parts and yes, I do mean feet, quite often, rubbing, squeezing and handling bare feet with great intimacy and familiarity. The foot handling and foot touching is quite intimate and familiar. It's not necessarily erotic. Is it more than sensual? Does it spill over into the sexual? I don's know. That kind of question may be useful if it helps us further understand ourselves.

If Wolfie finds his attraction to feet both sensual and sexual and if he is satisfied, then he is answering his own question well. But should he - or any of us - stop there, stop at a point when we're satisfied?

Life is a work in progress. We are all works in progress. If we are satisfied - with feet, or cocks, or pussy, or a combination of several elements - maybe we should keep on going and if it's good, we should explore to see how we can take something good and make it better, better for ourselves and for those with whom we have social or sensual or sexual contact.

The possibilites are infinite. May Wolfie and all of us have good trips!

[Feet~First]

Funny, but I would much rather get into foot play with another dude than have sex with him. I mean, if I had to choose one or the other. Otherwise, I am all over the board.

[TheWolf9]

Where in the cookbook is that recipe for good sex? Is there a recipe that will make everybody happy? A one-size-fits-all solution? A bluebird of happiness for every birdcage? A plum pudding to delight all palates?

Probably not. Maybe each of us should be asking a different question. Wolfie, for example, should be asking not for a recipe for good sex but rather for a recipe for good sex FOR WOLFIE. As the above posters have suggested, sex is good. Enjoying feet with or without other body parts is good. It's all OK. And it's YOUR answer for YOUR question that counts.

I'm very impressed with the pix posted by Footlover28 in the Video Captures thread of a performance of Mozart's ""Don Giovanni"' from the 2009 Macerata Opera Festival. Ildebrando D''Arcangelo is the Giovanni and Andrea Concetti is his servant Leporello. The two frequently are on Giovanni's bed together and roughhouse like army buddies with obvious affection. They touch each other's bodies, body parts and yes, I do mean feet, quite often, rubbing, squeezing and handling bare feet with great intimacy and familiarity. The foot handling and foot touching is quite intimate and familiar. It's not necessarily erotic. Is it more than sensual? Does it spill over into the sexual? I don's know. That kind of question may be useful if it helps us further understand ourselves.

If Wolfie finds his attraction to feet both sensual and sexual and if he is satisfied, then he is answering his own question well. But should he - or any of us - stop there, stop at a point when we're satisfied?

Life is a work in progress. We are all works in progress. If we are satisfied - with feet, or cocks, or pussy, or a combination of several elements - maybe we should keep on going and if it's good, we should explore to see how we can take something good and make it better, better for ourselves and for those with whom we have social or sensual or sexual contact.

The possibilites are infinite. May Wolfie and all of us have good trips!


Well, I am sexually attracted to feet, but not to actual sex itself, if that makes sense.

[TheWolf9]

October 11 is National Coming Out Day.

Just bumping this for all the new people and I'm officially asexual. I even joined the Aven forums :)

[BootsMcGraw]

...I even joined the Aven forums...
Link, please. Thank you.

[BootsMcGraw]

Link, please. Thank you.
I found the link. Fascinating place. I highly recommend that anyone with even the remotest interest in the subject go here:

http://www.asexuality.org/en/

[drummer]

Well, I am sexually attracted to feet, but not to actual sex itself, if that makes sense.

Do you experience penile erection and pleasurable physical sensations when you "worship" feet, or do you find that your satisfaction doesn't really involve your own body's sexual responses?

If you do enjoy erections and orgasms and so on, then I wouldn't describe you as "asexual"--I'd just characterize you as a fetishist--most fetishists don't give up on other forms of sexual contact altogether, but many do.

On the other hand, if you find that you feel satisfaction and gratification by means of whatever you enjoy doing with feet, and don't really feel much of a need to have an erection or orgasm in connection with these activities, then I'd be more inclined to think of you as "asexual."

[cheesehead]

I don't think that you are really asexual as people who are asexual are naturally frigid and chaste. I don't think that you are either of these things otherwise you wouldn't be a participant on a fetish message board. You could however claim that you are just not into conventional forms of sexual arousal involving genitalia, but you would still be sexual, as having a fetish is a variation or better put a different form of sexuality depending on the person experiencing it.
Just because you arn't aroused by genitalia, mouths' or butts doesn't mean that you aren't sexual or dare I say even still gay. I myself am gay but am much like yourself in that I am not physically aroused by any of the above either and never have been, but male feet turn me on to no end. I have known this my entire life. The only difference between guys like us and "ordinary" gay men is that the focal point for our arousal is different. I still love and am affected by the male form and all it nuances, especially for masculine men, but the sexual point of focus is their feet rather than their genitalia or assholes. I still melt when I look into another man's eyes that I'm attracted to or hear a deep voice that soothes me. I still admire the male physique in all it' s forms and still swoon over the male aroma that is unique to males when they have been sweating for awhile and still crave strong arms to hold me, but rather than dicks, assholes or mouths arousing me, I only truly get physically aroused by male feet.
If your heart beats fast and flutters and you get all tingly in your nether regions when exposed to something that is a form of sexual arousal, plain and simple. Just because what gives you those feelings is a different body part than what gives conventional straight or gay people those feelings doesn't make it any less sexual or amorous in nature. I hope this helps.

[ftlaudft]

The posts in this thread are a lot more than helpful. They're valuable learning experiences. I never realized there was such variety, that there were so many variations on a theme, as we can see when members share their life stories.

When I think of what Wolf9 has said about his feelings and urges, I go back to the scene from "'Don Giovanni"' in which the two guys on the bed are rough housing and playing with each other''s bare feet. I can picture Wolfie in the same situation with a friend someday. The friend might be enjoying the intimate footrubbing as something sensual. But for Wolf9 it would be sensual AND sexual. If we get the answers that Drummer was suggesting about penile erection and orgasm, we can see that each man is having a different kind of experience. And that's OK. And it does seem that clarifying the experience should make it better for each guy and should help us in our relations too.
'
How can understanding the answers to these questions help us? Well, I can't be a better friend and lover to my partner until I underatand that I am gay and accept that I am gay. When I understand and accept that I have a fetish for feet, I can be a better partner and satisfy him better if I try to understand and help him meet any sexaal variations on a theme that he might have.

If Wolf9's friend understands that the footplay is sensual AND sexual for Wolf9, he can help Wolf9 fulfill himself even if Wolf9s friend doesn't have the same urges. I would suggest then that Wolf9 may want to stretch his limits a little in order to help his friend fulfill whatever needs he has. Give and take. And we all grow.

This has been an amazing growing experience. Life is one big series of questions and the joy of it is in living out the answers.