Partner Not Treating Me Well Emotionally

[feetsweat]

Partner Not Treating Me Well Emotionally

[OBG]

Honestly, from what you wrote it sounds like there is nothing left that the relationship can offer you- no support, no sexual gratification, no social interaction. It also sounds like he's managed to make you isolate yourself from your friends. I know 17 years is a long, long time... but it sounds like things might have run their course.

What's keeping you in this relationship?

[ftlaudft]

Hi Feetsweat! OBG makes a good point. What's keeping you in the relationship? 17 years is a long time to flush down the toilet, but being alone in a relationship seems far worse than just being alone. But if you're really feeling down and depressed, you may not be in the best shape to make a decision involving the investment of so many years. Move carefully and thoughtfully. But move!

Have you thought about joining a gym for group exercise, maybe something like an aerobics class? In addition, do you have a community center, especially a gay community center, where you could air out your thoughts in a group? Talking face to face with new friends might give you new friends and a chance to bounce back your ideas in a supportive atmosphere.

Then come home and look at your life and your partner as honestly as can. Dead is dead, and sometimes we're better off burying the dead and moving on. But sometimes there are attitudes and situations that can be turned around with dialogue and understanding. You have to decide.

Good luck and thanks for sharing with us.

[ropedfeet]

Ask yourself this:

Would you spend another 10 years in your " relationship" if it stays like it is now? Would you spend another 5 years this way? Do you want to spend even One more year like this?

Time goes by FAST, especially after you are 40.


He is not into the foot thing, and he probably NEVER will be by now. I hope you are not expecting that from him anymore.

People who "work all the time" are usually doing that to avoid other aspects of life.

You have spent 17 years with him, but how many of those years have been GOOD ones? What good would a 50 year relationship be if it Sucked?

I think you know what direction to take. Maybe you just need others to tell you that your feelings are right.

I say its time for you to begin thinking of a new start for yourself... I personally don't ask people to change for me, I change MY SITUATION instead.

Having NO relationship is WAY better than having, and staying in, a Bad one.

[feetsweat]

Thanks so much for the advice and kind words. It makes me feel good to have an outlet here for my foot fetish. It is so nice to have support from you guys on this issue as well.

I have a lot of thinking to do. You guys have given me a lot to think about. Again, I truly appreciate you guys so much for taking the time to give me some advice.

[ftslave67]

Emotional abuse can be as debilitating as physical. More insidious, probably, because it's gradual and we tend to rationalize it away. And there's no reason to put up with it. I would even suggest maybe getting professional counseling, if you can. Good luck--there's plenty of good men out there.

[BootsMcGraw]

Since the author of the original submission in this thread has decided to delete his post, there's nothing left for comment.

Topic closed. Thank you all.