Opinion Needed From the Foot Community

[seansea]

Hi guys,

I'd like some feedback from the community on this. With all the talk swirling around people like Tiger Woods and Jessie James having a "sexual addiction" it made me begin to think or rather wonder about myself. I've was in a dry spell for quite a while despite living in San Francisco. No foot action at all. Now, I'm having opportunities left and right from guys that I never thought I could have who like to have their feet played with. Boo hoo for me right? I guess what what may be troubling me is that I still need more. At one of the last few foot parties in the city, a very cool guy actually went to sleep and I played with his feet all night. He woke up the next morning (thankfully happy) and was surprised to see me still down there working his feet. He was gracious enough to even let me keep going, but I felt bad about it and stopped.

I've always had a very healthy libido, but now it's like I need feet everyday several times a day if possible. I visit this site daily (not a bad thing at all), but my sexual appetite for feet have never been this strong. Not since before I had my first footjob. It doesn't get in the way of work or interacting with people, but I feel like I'm becoming a foot nympho.

[ftlaudft]

It's feast or famine. Sometimes we can't find enough food and suffer from hunger and malnutrition. At other times, there's lots of good stuff available, so we gorge ourselves and get fat. What we have to do is figure out just how much and what kinds of food are right for us. But food is not a luxury, it's a necessity.

And so is air and breathing. And so is love and our expressions of love. We can't really have or give too much love. But how we express our desires and feelings and urges has to be evaluated all our lives long. Are we being honest, positive, caring, creative and nurturing? In every encounter? In every expression of foot lust? Are we letting our kinks carry us up? Are we satisfying the other party in a good way for him?

I'm not answering your question for you. I think we all need to be asking more questions, polishing the questions, and then trying to live out the answers. You sound as though you're at a new stage of consiousness of who you are and what you want. Things are going well and you like what you're doing. If you feel that you are working well and dealing with people in a positive way, maybe you should continue to flow with your positive sex and foot and many other urges in as positive way as possible. Count and enjoy the blessings. Love a lot. Laugh a lot. That's what it's all about.

[tenchichan]

A lot of times I find I go through cycles. There will be periods when I'm too distracted to care about sex and other times when it's all I can think about. It's worse in the spring, I think, because the warm weather hits and people start losing the shoes and it can get you all hot again. I've noticed in the past few weeks I've had an insatiable appetite as well. I'm sure once I get used to the new warm weather, I'll cool down a bit.

[DavidA]

Wanna come to Atlanta??

[BootsMcGraw]

...I'd like some feedback from the community on... having a "sexual addiction"....
As a recovered alcoholic and drug addict, I think I can speak with some authority, here. Something becomes an "addiction" at the point where it begins to affect your physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual self. If something influences your relationships, your job, or your other activities negatively, it's time to step back and ask yourself "WTF is going on?"

Is there such a thing as a "sexual addiction"? Maybe. I'll let the psychologists fight that one out. Does your sexual activity fall into one of the categories, above? Only you can answer that question.

[drummer]

As a recovered alcoholic and drug addict, I think . . . Something becomes an "addiction" at the point where it begins to affect your physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual self.

Well, maybe what our moderator says is so, but I think if you were troubled enough to post such a question, then it's a pretty good indication that you're not happy with your present pattern of behavior, and if that's the case, then maybe some professional counselling might be in order.

Whether or not you should think of yourself as "addicted" I cannot say, but what you might look for is a counsellor who specializes in the anxiety disorder known as "OCD" which stands for Obssessive-Compulsive Disorder, and includes a large array of worries and behaviors, often characterized by doing things we like to do, but want to stop doing anyway.

They way you speak about it, it sounds as if you're worried that your pursuit of feet has become a compulsion, a behavior you cannot stop or control, and such things usually develop as a means of coping with some underlying anxiety that makes you uncomfortable.

There are therapists who specialize in that sort of thing, and perhaps a few meetings with one might help you sort things out.

[abcdefg]

Well, from my understanding you just seem to be unhappy with how you're acting. It's not to the point where it's affecting your life so this would probably be the ideal time to take a moment and think about what you're doing and why you're doing it. As someone mentioned it very well could be just the warm weather raising your libido. It seems to be a common occurance, even within the fetishes. I would try taking a break from feet for a couple of days and think about how your behavior is making you feel. If you still feel concerned I would consider seeing a professional.

[greatlakesbud]

go with the flow...

[ftlaudft]

I have to agree with Drummer when he proposes that Seansea must have been seriously troubled if he put it out in a post. I remember too that I have been seriously troubled at many stages of my life, seriously troubled by problems of sex. I have passed through mini-crises, as I think we all have, when I discovered erections, masturbation, the fact that I'm gay (that was a big one!), the fact I have a foot fetish (that was the mother of all crises!). I remember the too-little and the too-much crises as well. For several years I lived in a place with no sexual outlet other than solo sex. Then I went to New York and discovered the baths. My first night at the baths I stayed 8 hours and had sex with 23 guys. Yes, I counted them! After that night I think I could have written the same post Seansea gave us here.

But what did I need the next day? Professional therapy? Or did I need a few friends - like you footbuddies here - to calm me down, to tell me it was OK, I was just a normal gay foot fetishist having a lucky streak, and now I should take it easy, learn to be selective, and adjust my youthful appetite to the newfound available options.

As Boots suggests, only the individual himself knows if his stress and anxieties are so serious he needs to take them to a professional. Most of the time during my life, the support and companionship of friends, buddies, people I could talk to, has been more than enough. It's confirmed my belief that my fetish is a good thing, a gift, a blessing, and I need to know how to enjoy it and share it. That's why I love this site. It's a real community of real people with a real fetish. We share our feelings, our moments of stress and our moments of passion. It's fun and it's healthful.

Most of the guys here seem to have come through life's mini-crises as well-balanced fun people. Except of course for Head2Foot, Shale, Scurry, Alexandre and RopedFeet! Now, those guys really have problems! Somebody help them! Please! Do they need therapists, do I think? Actually, I suspect they ARE the therapists! Seriously, it's because of posters such as the gifted souls I just named that I feel I belong to a healthy and happy community. It's the therapy I need. (And it's free!)

[ropedfeet]

My my, you can imagine how surprised I was to see myself mentioned here as I read through this thread. Thank you FtLaud for thinking of me, that was very nice of you indeed.


Actually I AM a therapist...I am a bondage therapist. A good bondage session is Great therapy.
Putting yourself under the control and care of another man, one who you think is hot hopefully..."losing" control safely for a while while having all kinds of fun, and hopefully it would include Lots of foot fun as well....one GOOD squirt and the world seems like a much better place for a while....Ahhhh, so good....

As for the poster's question, I think we have all been in his shoes...actually I'd love to get in his shoes, or get him in mine, but thats another matter...We men can be such animals about sex, which can be great...and I DO think there is something about this time of year that gets us all crazy after the subdued season of winter...I know I have been feeling particularly crazy lately with seeing a sea of feet, chests and armpits and handsome men in tank tops and shorts suddenly all around me now, and down here in New Orleans those feet won't be going back into hiding until sometime in November!!...I call it the never ending "TORTURE!!"...LOL


But we all have to calm down about it a bit at times, lest it drive us literally nuts...taking a little break from sex being our top concern is good I think. And not to worry, all those men are not going to disappear in the meantime, men are always around to meet and have fun with. Especially in San Francisco, where I lived for 4 wonderful years. I could meet men just walking through my neighborhood which was right on one edge of The Castro, day or night.

So I think he'll be fine. We all get like that once in a while, and he sounds smart enough to know if it really gets in the way of his life.

Men have a sexual thought every few seconds. That is a fact... Now I have to go get busy...later guys, lolol


Ropedfeet.

[Head2Foot]

Seansea, as long as your appetite can be fulfilled by the available food source -- and as long as the rest of your life is in balance -- you should relax and enjoy it. It's when things get out of balance, when your desires cannot be met, that you have a problem. It's then you need a self reality check, and if you can't control it yourself, it's time to seek professional help. Just remember, we all go through ebbs and flows, through periods of frustration. Just try to keep your life balanced.

Two of my favorite souls (soles?) on this board -- ftlaudft and ropedfeet -- are fine examples of men who keep their lives in balance.

[akeel]

If it's not interfering with the most important things in your life, then I would say there isn't a problem. You say that you have never had a major foot fetish, but now it seems you are totally foot-oriented. I am thinking you are in a process of re-adaptation (however briefly) in your sexual awareness (doesn't stop at 25, you know) and you are overreacting by saying it is becoming an addiction. The media has an affect on us like that, you know - the Tiger/James stuff is overload and is the trend. Draw some boundaries between the media and your mind.

My two-cents: if you are still able to hold down a job, pay the bills, enjoy a reasonable balanced social life and no one is wondering why you are acting strange and /or different, you're fine and you need to relax.

When you are spending billions of dollars on footbois, you got a problem... but something tells me it's safe to say you don't have billion of dollars to spend.

[guysweat]

Yeah, I agree with what others have said here. If your concerned then find a professional or a close buddy you can trust to talk to about it. If your life is otherwise manageable and there are no consequences from your desires/actions, then everything is probably okay.

[flickfire]

You've gotten a lot of good advice Sean, and I just wanted to add my two cents.
I'd say to you, trust your gut. I think you probably know yourself a lot better
than any of us on here do. If you feel like you have a problem being obsessed
with an attraction to mens' feet, then there is nothing wrong with seeking some
professional help for it.

I'm sure there are lots of good therapists/psychologists out there who could
help you if you feel you have the need for it. Don't be embrassed to reach out
to others for help just you like you did here. Nothing is more important than
addressing your emotional/physical/psychological needs.

I went through a similar thing about a couple years ago, and seriously
thought about getting some psychological counseling, but instead, I just worked
my way through it. Everybody responds differently to their own situations. I'm
just saying professional help is out there if you feel you need it.

Good luck to you.

[BootsMcGraw]

If you do decide to get professional help to sort things out, seansea, please be aware that your choice of a professional is vital to a successful treatment outcome.

Men like you and I would benefit from finding a "kink-aware" or "kink-friendly" therapist, since there are some folks out there who still think that sucking toes is a sign of mental illness.

It might be to your advantage to check out the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom website, which could direct you to a therapist in your area.

http://www.ncsfreedom.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=268&Itemid=48

Good luck!

[ropedfeet]

Thanks Scooter for that link to a very good site to know about. I for one had not heard of that organization. I agree totally that there are Too many therapists and others who would try to convince someone ( if they could) that their interests in kink activities is "wrong" ...Not long ago I advised a friend to be sure he was getting the Right kind of counseling from the right kind of person.

and thanks to Head2Foot for the kind words...you are one of the best on here too!



Ropedfeet.

[seansea]

Wow guys...
Thank you so much for the wealth of information. You're all the best! Like most have said I think taking a break may be a good idea. I bought into the myth that the male libido peaks at 18, so being in my late 30's and being hornier than I was at 12 freaked me out. I also agree with what a lot of you said regarding that it's just a streak and I should enjoy it, but I'll slow it down a little bit. I've also found another outlet for getting it out of my system by making foot fetish related art. Although it's not easy trying to paint fully erect ;)

You've all really come through for me and I appreciate your time and thought. I'll also start posting some art up either in my profile or the pictures section (would that be the better place?). If there's anything I can do for you guys let me know. Take care!

seansea