Relationship advice

[stinkyfeetlover]

So I have been dating this guy, who does not have a foot fetish, for just over a year now and I told him that I like feet within weeks of meeting him. Recently I have began worshipping his feet as he has been trying to incorporate my foot fetish into the relationship for a while but I resisted because I didn't want to gross him out. But a week ago I relented and licked his feet then sucked his toes. Problematically, he got bored really quickly and gradually started hinting more and more strongly that he wanted me to play with the rest of him. Until finally he snapped at me and told me to leave his feet alone.

I got a little annoyed at this because in the past year I have only cummed once with him. But almost every time we spend the night together I make sure that he gets off because I like to satisfy his needs. So when he stopped me from playing with his feet, I didn't let him suck my dick that day (my dick isn't that sensitive but he really likes it in his mouth) but then felt a bit bad because I felt like I was being petty. Afterwards we discussed it and he said that me at his feet is boring because his feet just aren't that sensitive and he doesn't feel that my attention is on him when I am down there. He seems to have most issue with me playing with his feet whilst he is horny - but never makes time outside of that for me to play with feet.

Also, I have told him that I really like it when his feet are clean but a bit sweaty but he always seems to forget and walks around barefoot which is a huge turn off. I have also told him that I like to be the one to take his socks off but then he always does it. I do think that he wants to sexually please me as he does these stupid strip shows where he strips everything but his socks - at which point I am not really that interested. I have told him 3 or 4 times how he can use his feet to turn me on and I can always tell that he isn't listening. Surprise, surprise he never remembers and never does the things I say to him.

I can function without his feet (didn't touch them for nearly a year) but nothing turns me on quite like them which is why I have have always felt a bit unfulfilled in the bedroom. This is my first serious relationship but I am starting to feel that being able to spend time with his feet is actually a bit of a deal breaker so I feel like shit for being shallow. Has anyone here ever been in a situation like mine and have some advice on how to make this work? I don't just want him to let me play with his feet but I want him to keep them clean for me and ideally a bit sweaty. Am I being unreasonable? :(

Sorry this is so long - it was partially a rant to myself. Thanks to anyone who replies with any advice and anyone managed to get all the way here :).

[abcdefg]

It sounds like he's not willing to listen to you and he doesn't seem too keen on caring about your interests. That does not make a healthy relationship.

[blablablabla]

For me the biggest red flag is that you only came once with him, even after being together for a year. Im no expert, ive only had 2 short relationships lasting a couple months and only a handful of sex partners ever, but when i was in those relationships it was very standard to get off with eachothers help almost every single day. Especially when your partner gets off, he should feel obliged to return the favor. If that means washing his feet and letting you play with them, he should be more than happy to do so.

i would understand if after a year he grew tired of it and feels like its not working, but from what you wrote its clearly a one way street. Getting off isnt the only thing that matters in sex, but its a pretty damn big part of it...

[Footlover4Ever_J]

I feel your pain on that one. I always felt that it's a deal breaker if I can't enjoy their feet and only go for what they like. Sometimes compromising can work, and sometimes not. I have had some encounters where guys would let me enjoy their feet, but I can sense that they get turned off by it. It's a very complicated situation. Maybe it's a compatibility issue, I don't know.

[gbmcleod]

It sucks that the guy you're dating (I notice you didn't say "in love with") is unresponsive to what turns you on. Is the rest of the relationship so good that he simply can't oblige you in this way? I mean, if the Love doesn't make up for sexual differences, I'd look at what's keeping me there. Sometimes we stay in relationships because we think "it could be worse," instead of "it could be better." Ask yourself what the good points are and what the not-so-compatible areas are. See if they balance out. I once had a guy I was crazy about and he has very sexy feet, but didn't understand the appeal of feet. Nonetheless, he would, when feeling me reach down his legs, bring his feet up so I could touch them. That was great, but emotionally, it was unsatisfying and now we are friends - no sex.
You're not being petty if you told him about what turns you on, but you also say he offered his feet to you and you declined. So, it's a bit tricky. It's not as though he didn't - in the beginning - meet you halfway, but your own concerns about touching his feet made you reject his offer. Now that you've done it, he's not responsive, because he says his feet aren't sensitive. It does sound, though, that when someone is always "forgetting" what you told them turns you on, it's a bit passive aggressive. Not to say that that's what's happening, but don't rule it out just to be "in a relationship."

But you can still come to an accommodation, if other things are functioning well. Do you actually talk about the relationship, such as asking if there's anything he feels you need to talk about, or in your case, you need to talk about with him? If everything is going by "hints" and "assumptions," you're not really having a conscious relationship, in which case, , you may end up only torturing yourself. Relationships are about Love more than about sex, and usually, genuinely loving someone means you want to see them happy - and happy being with you. See if you can find a happy medium, such as "x-out-of-x-times-I-get-my-needs-met" and the rest of the time you also make love to him the way he likes.