Serious advice needed

[blablablabla]

I feel awful. I wanna share my story as I have nobody else to talk to, and any serious feedback would be greatly appreciated.

So after a year of not dating i met a guy i like at a club a couple days ago. We end up in bed, but i dont like his feet so i just focus on his face and jack off and cuddle a bit, saying i'm too shy to do blowjobs or anal. The reality is: it doesn't turn me on. The thought of taking a dick in my mouth grosses me out, but even worse: when a guy sucks me off i cant
even stay hard. All i can think is: eww. Same with anal sex: it hurts too much for me and i cant focus on it doing it to someone else. I guess i could do it when the guy was a perfect 10, jacked and ripped, but unfortunately reality doesn't work that way.

Either way, since i hadn't had human contact for a year i enjoyed it, and so did the guy. Today he wanted to meet up again and we did. He wanted a little more this time, and when i turned down a blowjob and couldnt really get excited for anal, he got frustrated. For the first time in my life (i'm 29), i took a dick in my mouth. I guess i wasnt as grossed out as i thought i would be, since he was shaven and clean, but i cant say i enjoyed it. I'm just worrying about diseases and trying not to gag basically. It was obvious to him that i wasnt into it so he asked me, almost mad at this point: how can u be gay and not like dicks? What turns u on? Show me what porn u watch!

I just sit there, lie a bit that im just uncomfortable and need some time to open up. I can't tell him the truth, that the only thing i ever jack off to is pictures of guy's feet, that i look at the ground more than i look up when walking on the streets, that a clean, shaven dick grosses me out but a pair of big, sweaty, smelly feet in my face is heaven for me.

We eventually called it a night and im probably never seeing him again. I feel terrible. Why is my fetish completely taking over my sex life. How am i ever going to find a guy this way? Even if i find someone with great feet and make sacrifices to fulfill his needs as well, hell always know im doing it to please him, which just cant be healthy. I cant spend my life with an attractive guy with meh feet, ill never be truly satisfied. Nor can i be with an ugly guy with hot feet, as itll be too much of a one-way traffic. I basically need to find someone who is both very attractive and has hot feet. Im so fucked.

Please, someone make me feel better about this.

[flickfire]

You're not as fucked as you think. There are plenty of attractive guys out there with beautiful feet. You just have to put yourself in place where you have access to them. Why not try putting an ad on a site specifying what you're into and what you like? Chances are that you'll get a positive response. Why not also try hanging out at places where attractive men go, like bookstores, coffee shops(lots of cute guys go there wearing sandals) or join a gym, where you're very likely to meet some good looking dudes and check out their feet at the same time.

As for the guy that doesn't know what you're into, why not just be honest and tell him? You're 29 years old, and have EVERY right to be into what you like. If you see him again, and tell him about your foot fetish and he makes a snide remark about it, just say that we're all different, and different people like different things, and if he can't accept your fetish, then that's HIS problem, NOT yours!

It saddens me that you've had sex with him just for the contact, but you didn't enjoy the experience. You should never do anything you don't feel comfortable doing, and you should be concerned about contracting an STD- especially AIDS, because it's a hell of a lot easier to get it from unprotected anal and oral sex, than it is by sucking on someone's toes!

You sound almost ashamed of your fetish, and you shouldn't be, because it's a unique part of who you are, and there's nothing wrong with being different from most people. Maybe these tips that I've given you might help you to connect with the right kind of guys you really want to be with in your life.
You shouldn't have to go through life not having your desires fullfilled when so many other people do.

If you put yourself out there, and start meeting guys, you'll be surprised how many of them like having their feet worshipped. You just have to be natural, relaxed and friendly about what you want, and chances are that you'll get it! It won't hurt to try!

Good luck!!

[abcdefg]

First off, you like what you like. Your fetishes and what you enjoy sexual are mostly not going to change majorly overnight. You can work with sex therapists to help safely explore and look into making what you feel are more healthy changes.

Secondly, if you're not into something, you shouldn't have to feel bad for it. It is just as much your mouth as it is his penis going into it. If you don't feel comfortable or interested in doing something, tell the person. Hopefully they will be a rational adult and back off or try and talk to you. They may be upset or frustrated, but hopefully they can work through that.

Thirdly, you are not fucked. I am sure there are plenty of other people in your situation or very similar ones right now.

[ftlaudft]

Flickfire suggests that you should be honest and tell your partner what you really want and don't want. I think that's the bottom line answer. Communication is what is most needed. But how do you do it? Let's not pretend that it's easy.

First you have to love yourself and accept yourself, embrace your fetish and be happy being who you are. Now you meet a guy. How do you let him know about your fetish and about your distaste for oral and anal sex? It depends on the guy. You have to learn to feel him out, follow the path that seems to be working, use words when you can and follow up with physical movemnts like touching and feeling his feet. But things are so different for each person that there will be a hundred answers and approaches for a hundred different guys. But somehow get the message thru and talk. As Flickfire said, be honest and tell him. And whatever his reaction is, be proud and happy with yourself and the fetish that you have as a gift.

[seansea]

I'm much like you where as feet are the main attraction to a guy and it's what gets me off the most. If I click with a person I don't mind doing things I'm not that crazy about to please him. And when I do that I end up getting what I'm after. I agree with what others have said on this thread, you should be clear on what you like, just as he should be clear on what he likes. When I was young and coming out I didn't want anything to do with anal or oral. All I wanted to do was rub my cock on a man's feet all night long. But as I got older I began to appreciate other aspects of sex event though bare feet will always be my number one thing.

Don't be hard on yourself. Hopefully he'll understand and if not, perhaps the next person will. Who knows he may have a foot fetish too and wouldn't that be the best case scenario ;) Take care of yourself, and you are definitely not alone.

[underfoot27]

This thread spoke wonders to me.

I am 33- and I have NEVER liked anal or oral sex that much. I like men's feet. Pure and simple. It's healthy, safe and it gets me off like nobody's business. I find it hard to do the dating scene in fear that the guy I click with won't understand my fetish- and we won't have a relationship because of it. I do like oral sex more now, but anal just ain't for me- the shit HURTS.

I have learned that honesty really is the best policy- even in the cold harsh world of the Gay Dating Scene, where guys drop you in the snap of a finger for anything small they don't like about you.

Good luck and I hope your next encounter is successful.