Roommate caught his friend in action..

[zancrave]

I read this interesting story on a blog recently, what do U think of this story?:rolleyes:


“Couple of nights ago my friend that I’ve known for about 4 years (now roommate) has a problem. I actually woke up in the middle of the night and he was at the foot of my bed looking at my feet, and getting off to them. I am in NO WAY homosexual, and I felt (and feel) completely violated. I confronted him and he had a super nervous breakdown (crying and whatnot) and he confessed that he’s been doing the same thing to his other roommates that he had throughout college. Since he’s a really good friend of mine, I really want to give him another chance but everything is WAY too weird, and I don’t feel comfortable sleeping in my own room. So, I asked him to leave yesterday and I just don’t know if I should give him a second chance or kick him out for good. I know that it is a SUPER serious crime, and if I had reported him that night.. he would of gone to jail for 10-15 years for sexual assault in the 6th degree, and be labeled a registered sex offender. What in the world should I do?”

[akeel]

I know that it is a SUPER serious crime, and if I had reported him that night.. he would of gone to jail for 10-15 years for sexual assault in the 6th degree, and be labeled a registered sex offender. What in the world should I do?”

Huh??????

A shame that both parties are living in such shameful ignorance. There's hope in that the so-called victim has some compassion; the "perpetrator" has got to get out of his cycle of secrecy and get out there and meet some people who will let him indulge his fetish.

[ftlaudft]

Holy Guacamole! You mean it's a crime now to jack off while looking at a guy's feet? I must have dozed off while Sarah Palin and Rick Santorum staged a revolution and passed new laws!
We'd better pack an overnight bag and run for the border!

Wait! I think we're too late. Someone called Michelle Bachmann has made a citizn's arrest - and we're all under house arrest

House arrest! For ten to fifteen years! What ever shall we do to pass the time away? I think I have an idea, guys. Let's meet in the rec room in 5 minutes. Clothes optional. Only bare feet allowed. Wheeeee!

[eep5000]

WOW!!!! How stupid and ignorant is that??? The real question is did he like it, kinda sounds like this, and plus an accusation without evidence is irrelevant unless proven by pics or video, there has to be some kind of evidence to prove his case otherwise it falls under speculation... STUPID, STUPID, STUPID... So the guy has a foot fetish and likes male feet so freaken what. This roommate really has some dumb issues, and needs to get a life. I'm talking about the so called non foot roommate, I'm for the foot guy lol...

[dc777]

Holy Guacamole! You mean it's a crime now to jack off while looking at a guy's feet?

Ugh, yeah. The guy has every right to feel violated. I don't think the foot guy deserves criminal punishment but if I were the guy I'd kick his ass out. That's his home, a place where he should feel comfortable and this guy has created an uncomfortable environment. How would you feel if you woke up one night and a roommate (that you have no attraction to whatsoever) was starring at you while he masturbates?

[fructis]

I can see why someone not into feet could be uncomfortable with the situation however he said this is a good friend.

How about talking to him and trying to understand him?

Perhaps even trying to find a solution. A good friend should love you and accept you no matter what. Sometimes shit happens. But you clean it up and move on.

I have a feeling ( from him insisting he is not homosexual) that perhaps his biggest shock (and perhaps real disgust) was to learn about the possibility of his roommates being gay.

Not that being into male feet makes you gay but someone who doesnt know much about the subject will assume that automatically.

I think he overreacted but the foot fetishist should have known that being caught could bring some trouble.

The sad part is a friendship is being lost.

Oh well. I was always wondering what could happen if you get caught smelling someones feet while they are sleeping...Now I know it could trigger an angry reaction.

However I doubt calling the cops would do anything.

-911 what's your emergency

-I caught my roommates smelling my feet

- (operator start laughing)

[tenchichan]

Guys-- it's sexual assault. It doesn't matter who did who to what-- it's unwanted sexual contact, the genders and sexual orientations of the people involved have nothing to do with anything. CLEARLY the guy on the receiving end felt violated and justifiably so.

Your fetish does not give you the excuse to make someone else feel uncomfortable. PERIOD.

And when gays play the victim card like that, it makes us all look bad. We can't just sexually violate people left and right to see if they "like it." If this guy wanted to explore his fetish he should have done so like a responsible adult with another consenting adult. There is no excuse. The victim has every right to his feelings and to undermine them does damage to the both communities-- homosexuals in general and foot fetishists.

Honestly, this is a really clear example of the perpetuation of rape culture. The guy jacking off was completely in the wrong and we all want to defend him because he's "one of us."

Then what does that say about us if we want to include this guy amongst our ilk? That gay foot fetishists think they have the right to dictate what happens to other people's bodies when they're sleeping?

Look, I don't think anyone here is purposely trying to condone sexual assault, I'm just trying to get you guys to realize that's what you're doing. I know gays have been the victims for so long that our instinct is to jump in to protect one of our own, but honestly, that's the exact same thing sleezeball straight people do whenever a woman gets raped.

It's time to stop blaming the victims and time to start taking responsibility for our actions. Shit like this might have been partially excusable in the days when gay men couldn't be free to explore their sexuality in an open way, but that's not the age we live in. And people who do shit like this only try to force us back into the shadows to do what we do like its an ugly little secret.

I don't stand for that and I don't stand for sexual assault either. I'm not pointing fingers or trying to be the bitch here, I'm just asking that you take some time to think about this from a place of civility. Because honestly, this is no different then when a straight woman gets raped and nobody wants to believe her because "she was asking for it" or "she was a tease."

If the victim feels violated, that's his god given right and nobody has the ability to take that away from him. It doesn't matter that it was just his feet or just jacking off or that the victim was a straight dude. The minute you tell someone what they can do what their body or how they should feel about unwanted sexual contact, you're participating in rape culture.

Just ponder it over guys. We're better than this.

[FootFetiche]

Wasn't there a similar story like this, where a girlfriend woke up to a guy doing the same thing to her boyfriend?

[mikecalah]

I agree that the "foot-fetish" guy should be more careful in a future. Such kind of recklessness could easily lead him into troubles in a future.
As for another guy, if this continues to be such a big deal for him, he should probably see a shrink to consult whether he should come out of a closet. Otherwise it will progress more, and the next stop could be "everybody stares at me in a gym". Not a comfortable life.
And about the court, any judge would dismiss such "rape case" at the first hearing for the lack of evidence. Don't be a laughing stock at the end.

[ftlaudft]

To read a disturbing article about prison rape, go to Advocate.com and read the op-ed of Michael Lucas (creator of Lucas Entertainment) in the June 13 edition of "'Out."' He tells about his friend Milan Gamiani who was locked up for refusing to testify against a boyfriend and was beaten and raped brutally many times, by four different men, during his incarceration. The guards and others who should have been protecting him turned out to be part of the problem. It's a serious report on real rape.

[Solesearcher1]

I disagree with the opinion that our foot fetishis has committed a sexual assault. He was looking at his roommates bare feet for inspiration. Not actually fucking them as the guy slept. Invasion of privacy, yes. Exposing himself - but not publicly - yes. It was a violation of trust. And one that warrants confrontation. And, perhaps, a change of roommate arrangements.

But this situation should not be construed as sexual assault. Might ongoing visits to a sleeping roommates bedroom lead to worse behavior? Not necessarily. I agree that our foot fetishist needs to get out more. Or, hopefully, find sites like this one. Which do help some of us get by between such intimate encounters.

[ftlaudft]

I totally agree with the comments above of Solesearcher1. The reactions to the original post have surprised me and perhaps this kind of conversation is overdue. We all need to think about boundaries, limits, personal space, personal rights, and the rules of the game in courtship rituals, cruising, and other types of encounters.

It does seem to me that adolescent boys go through periods of experimentation in which they touch themselves and may touch other boys, sometimes inappropriately, as they try to learn what their body changes mean and what they should do about it. Many boys learn to masturbate, at first alone, sometimes with a jack-off buddy, and they learn techniques and limits. If a friend of the same age touches and they want to play, they can go ahead with the game. If they are not ready or don't want to do anything, they can push the hand away. It's important to learn that no means no.

Somethiing of the same continues into adulthood. I remember years ago in a movie theater a guy pushed his knee against mine. I had two options. I could leave it there and that would be a signal he was being encouraged to go further. Or I could withdraw my knee, and perhaps give the guy a dirty look. Back then that was how we learned that no means no.

In a gay bar, way back then guys danced together and hands traveled. You could put your hand somewhere on a guy's arm or leg, at the barstool or while dancing, and it was important to learn how to interpret the signals. I have to say honestly that if someone ever made a pass at me or hit on me or touched me anywhere, approprately or inappropriately, I never felt offended or that I was the victim of a sexual assault. Sometimes people didn't give up easily and needed a firmer rebuff, but that was something we used to learn how to do without overreacting.

Michael Lucas's article "Rape Behind Bars" is a whole different matter. I hope you can find the article at advocate.com because it reflects a failure in our justice system that needs to be corrected.

As to the guy in the original post and the foot fetishist who assaulted him - apparently without actually touching him - I would have acted differently. Let's call the two guys FF (that would be the foot fetishist) and OP (that would be the offended princess.) If I were the OP, when I woke up and saw what was going on, I would simply have told the FF to finish his peter pull in the bathroom and go back to sleep. No means no. That should have been enough. The OP thus would have taught the FF his llimits and his boundaries.

The fact that he chose to make a high drama out of a non-physical jack off scene makes me wonder if he might be enjoying the scene in a rather sadistic way. As the Bard said, "'Methinks the lady doth protest too much."'

Different cultures and different generations have different ways of dealing with growing up and learning limits. We must be careful not to exaggerate. I remember listening to a lady from Iran telling about two boys, 17 and 18, who had been caught playing with each other. They were taken out of the village, buried up to their chests in the ground, and then stoned. But it wasn't a fast death for them. It took about two hours while the pious villagers threw stones at them. For touching themselves and each other. Well, they won't be doing that again!

We have to be careful not to become like the Taliban ourselves. And we do need to study what it really means to be a sexual human being - a responsible sexual human being. But if you are going to send a guy to prison for 15 years just for looking at you crosseyed while he whacks off, maybe you should look for another planet.

[dc777]

Stop with all the logical fallacies. This situation has nothing to do with prison rape. I am glad you decided what constitutes "real" rape though. You should become a court expert. What this guy did was wrong. Condone it all you want just stop dressing it up and STOP blaming the victim. At the end of the day, jerking off to someone who is sleeping even if you aren't touching them is sexual assault. If the genders were switched: a male and female roommate and the female woke up one night to the male jerking off at the foot of her bed, can you honestly say you would say she's overacting because she probably likes it or she just needs to tell him to go the bathroom and finish there and get over it? Says *a lot* about your character if the answer is yes.

[fructis]

You wake up to your female roommate fingering herself while staring at you?

(roommate that you thought was a lesbo)

How would yall feel about this? She is a good friend.

You confront her and she tells you as of late she been doing this to most of her male roommates during their sleep.

[ftlaudft]

Hey Fructis! I loved your dialog of the guy calling the police and reporting that his roommate was smelling the cheese! So I tried it.

Well, it's like this. The handsome police dude arrived and he was so cute! He and my roommate hit it off right away and would you believe it, the police guy has a thing for feet too!
The two went off to my roommate's room and I can hear them laughing and giggling and carrying on while they do things to each other's feet! I'm not going to get any sleep tonight.

Next time I wake up and a guy is whacking off while staring at my feet, I think I'll just give him a hand. And maybe a foot, too!

[fructis]

I have no doubt ftlaudft , if someone calls 911 for something this trivial the operator will have a laugh and the call will probably end up online then on Chelsea Lately!

This ordeal had me thinking about the opposite reaction.

Most of us have smelled these sleeping feet before. Mostly from str8 guys sleeping way too deeply into the arms of sister morpheus.

But what is to say about those str8 guys who probably woke up to one of our smelling sessions yet still pretended to be sleeping letting you indulge and acting like nothing the other day.

Because I bet if someone can wake up and act crazy about it, I am pretty sure some probably ended up enjoying the attention given but remained silent about it.

BTW. Thanks for the info about Milan Gamiani! I feel extremely sad about what happened to him. Horrendous situation. Something that would suck the life out of anybody living the same thing. I can only imagine the despair of the poor guy not being able to find any help. Only to be ridiculed and made fun of. Sad!

[ftlaudft]

Good points, Fructis! I think happiness is a matter of cheese, holes, and things that dangle! And aren't we lucky to live in a country where we're free to talk about it, compare notes and experience and even go out and sniff and whiff discreetly!

Because iwhile we're happily celebrating Gay Pride with parades and events that recall Stonewall Riots, in some places things are changing for the worse. In Russia the legislators are working on a law that makes it a crime to talk positively about homosexuality in public. A teacher in a classroom who says anything positive about gay life can go to jail for it. The law there is already in effect in some regions. Spooky!

Do we have to go to Russia to find this kind of homophobia in action? No! Right here we have a threat to our rights and that threat has a name: Antonin Scalia. Just last Friday he spoke to a group of lawyers and told them that the Constitution does not guarantee homosexuals the right to homosexual conduct. Can you imagine what would happen if he and the crazies on Fox News and the Tea Party actually had the right to shut us down here? They're doing it in Russia, they're hanging gays from the lamppost in some Middle East countries, they are actively persecuting gays in Uganda - and we have people right here who would do it if they could.

This site of FootBuddies is such a wonderful place for us to air out our ideas, as varied and diverse as they may be. And we are free to say anything so long as we are courteous and respect the rights of others to think whatever they choose. We can talk about themes close to our heart such as smelling the cheese. And we're free to debate the moral and legal consequences of what happens if the cheese wakes up.

It's good to pause a moment and appreciate what we have going for us right here. And if we're really grateful, maybe we can try to be a little nicer to each other and when we hear something we don't agree with, maybe we can try to cut some slack, turn the page and go on.

[BootsMcGraw]

...Can you imagine what would happen if he and the crazies on Fox News and the Tea Party actually had the right to shut us down here?...
Hey, Laudie and every other anti-conservative out there.

I am one of those Tea Party "crazies" you always try to knock down. Please be aware that we have much more important matters to attend besides worrying where a small minority of people are putting their genitals.

Things like a seventeen trillion dollar deficit, a flat economy, the government spying on your every move, a "health care plan" that will bankrupt the country and destroy the health care system, the IRS discriminating against people because of their beliefs and ideals, waste and fraud at every level of federal government, the murder of four Americans at Benghazi and why no one was sent to help them, securing the borders so another Boston Marathon bombing won't take place....

The list goes on and on. Homo passions really just don't matter, when the world is coming unglued all around us.

[turning the page and moving on]

[ftlaudft]

For many of us, homo passions matter.

[fructis]

Giving up your passion in the name of so and so is like giving up your life and your rights.

When money becomes more important than anything else in a world that could very well live with out it then we have a problem.

Dont let go of your passion. Passion is what makes us human.

The world is going down the drain because the world refuses to see the big problem with our system. Its clearly not working. It was cute at first. But its not anymore. When only a few can profit from it but the vast majority are left starving , something is not right.

Anyways. Keep the passion alive yall ; )

[eep5000]

Hey Boots Mcgraw,
I completely agree with you buddy, you just hit the nail right on the head, I'm so sick of the BS about sexual harassment, and all this stupid racial comments on tv, but the status of this country is going down, and you are absolutely right about all you posted...

[gbmcleod]

He woke up and found someone "getting off" - which, I assume, he meant sexually.

Marginalizing someone's feelings and thinking HE should see a shrink is not a logical - or sensitive - perspective. This is called putting the blame on the "victim." This happens a lot in our culture, the idea that "Well, if you can't get past it, it's your problem." It's not even remotely the non-foot guy's problem. Period. He did nothing. He was sleeping. He is right to feel weird, now that he is aware that someone wasn't just looking at his feet, but was jacking off to them IN HIS OWN BEDROOM. C'mon, have some boundaries here, gentlemen. If this was a man who lived with a woman and the same scenario took place, it would be treated very differently. The man would be accused of being a pervert. But because we're guys, we tend to rationalize and belittle the OTHER person for not "getting past it," as though WE have the right to decide how long it takes someone to get over something. How long should it take a woman, for example to get "past" her husband punching her? A day? A week? A month?
When it's YOUR situation, you will know when you're "past it." Nobody gets to tell you how long it takes to recover from a sexual violation, or physical or emotional abuse. That's bit like the rapist saying to the woman, "C'mon, didn't you like it just a little bit?" Sheesh, this kind of attitude should tell someone THEY have emotional problems. The footguy should see a shrink, as he's been doing this to many other guys. This is not an isolated incident, and it's not about sex. It's about control and power over others, and the only people who pull this are people who feel powerless. It's also indicative of some pretty serious emotional problems.

As for stupid racial comments? I'm in Paula Deen's corner. She may have been ignorant of what it felt like to be called such an ugly word, but that was, as the Carpenters song goes, "...long ago/and Oh so far away..." People use stupid words all the time.. So she said n*****. I had friends in high school (1968) who used that word (privately, not to my face). When I found out about it - literally - 3 years ago, I just said to my friend, the one who admitted saying to to another Black guy (who was gay AND the class president, to boot! In 1969!!!) you're not hateful, and you were probably just trying it out to see what it felt like to say it. And you couldn't believe it came out of your mouth, and you felt terrible. That was then. Thanks for telling me and don't even think about it anymore (I was the only person he ever told that he said that). He's a good guy. I love him. I'm not dropping him for something he said almost 45 years ago. Even George Wallace got a second chance to become governor again when he apologized for his views in front of a church of Black people. And we said, if he can admit he was wrong, we should forgive him. The Food Network should learn the same lesson.

[Footlover4Ever_J]

This senario kinda bothers me a bit, as I have ventured the same thing, letting my repressed liking for feet dominate me and my actions.

A while ago I have been plagued by one person bumming me for change all the time, knowing my weakness and not standing up for myself. He keep telling me that his feet hurt and he would peel his socks and feet, just tempting me. My bottled emotions deep inside of me. He would invite me to his friend's place, and he would ask me to get his feet rubbed. So, I obliged, fearing my temptation get the better of me I rubbed his aching feet to completion, the only thing that did the trick was to see him passed out. When that occured, I let it "out" literally, he woke up and was surprised at what I've done, so in order to keep him from really let me have it, I gave him more money as an act of apology -- all's forgiven.

I realized now that what I done was wrong and have pursued into something that may make the other party uncomfortable. I feel ashamed of telling this part of my life. I like feet and the need for companionship, but where I'm at, it's hardly anyone into feet, so I have to keep it hush-hush. After reading all of the comments, it just boggles the mind that we're still have to keep our likes hidden in plain sight. I don't know, maybe I believe in the live and let live, but...

[Bobo]

Rubbish.
Bobo.

[Bobo]

Be kind to your roomate/friend. You have found this website on which to complain. I think you just want attention. Post some pics of those irresistible feet of yours.
Bobo.

[Bobo]

I didn't realise that you had only read this story. I thought it happened to you! That's why I generally keep my big mouth shut.
Bobo.
Scooter, just delete my last three posts please. XOX, Bobo.