Inexperienced in need of answers

[blablablabla]

Hi footbuddies

I'm a 26 year old virgin and have finally planned my first "sex"date. By no means I am an ugly guy, I have just been in the closet for forever and never really had any interest in regular sex because of my fetish. (I don't really care for a penis at all, and I wouldn't stick my tongue in a guy's butt if you paid me).

Luckily for me, this guy apparently is into playful wrestling, which means I'd (hopefully) get to enjoy his body without having to go "down there". However, I got some thoughts that may sound really dumb to you, but are actually things I'm thinking about:

- I am excited really easily. I'm worried I might just shoot a load on the spot before things even go down. I could j/o before the date, but by the time we finished some drinks and the ice breaker conversation is done, I'd probably be locked and loaded again. It's been 26 years, this is a very huge deal to me.

- How do I handle the foot situation. I've had the strongest desire for feet since I was a small kid, but haven't touched one all my life (except for the occasional feet play with my brother when I was 10 or younger). Should I mention my fetish somewhere, given that the date isn't for regular sex anyway and the guy might be open to it? Or should I just try and wrestle my way around and go for his legs? ;)

When you're done laughing with these silly questions, please provide some serious answers.

[ftslave67]

1. If you shoot your load, so what? It's not like the sirens are going to start wailing & the cops are going to break in & arrest you! I think it's kind of hot when a guy comes just from contact, I take it as a sign he's really into me.

2. Keep an open mind, enjoy yourself & be respectful of your partner. You might find that if you really like a guy, you may be open to more different things.

3. Yeah, don't be afraid to say "I hope you don't mind, I'm kinda into feet". You don't have to say "fetish" or go into any more detail than that. Chances are, he will help you get what you really want.

Happy hunting :)

[gbmcleod]

and you're on a foot website. This is the last place ANYone would be "laughing with these silly questions" (which aren't silly at all).
It sounds like you have a considerable amount of anixety, and that's never easy to deal with - or to rationalize away (e.g, "I should be 'strong' about this" is the usual thing people tell themselves). It's something you've thought since you were very young, and it takes people a long time to deal with anxiety. Start while you're young: by the time you reach 30, you will be more comfortable with yourself.

Proabably the easiest thing, since your anxiety is so significant is, when you get to the sex stage, touch his entire body, legs and feet included, so it doesn't seem as though you're focused just on his feet. If he reacts, just casually say, "Are you ticklish? I didn't mean to make you jump when I was touching your legs and feet?" (This way, you don't just say 'feet' and trigger your own anxiety.) If he says yes, well, then, there a many guys who just don't like the ticklish feeling (they feel 'out of control,' a feeling very few people like initially). In this case, you'll know, without exposing yourself, that you will have to adjust to the fact that he is going to react if you go near his feet.
On the other hand, he may like it. Most guys like having a foot massage, so you could say, 'it's my first time doing this. Could we start out by doing some simple touching things, like me massaging your feet, a back rub, stuff like that? (Being a virgin can actually be pretty endearing - even these days when it seems most people are sexually experienced by age 14.) See what he says.
Also, unless you've already seen his feet, you may not even want to touch them. Have you seen them? Do you know that his feet turn you on or is it just that you want to touch SOMEone's feet just to 'get started' with the fetish. I don't think of liking feet as a 'fetish,' except that it's something different. American men have what could be called a 'breast fetish,' gay men, a dick fetish, etc. It's just called a focused attraction to me. I've had a big chest since I was 14 - and that was before I ever worked out. Even girls used to say to me, if you get any bigger, we're gonna have to buy you a bra [my dad had a fantastic physique, and he never worked out a day in his life. I got his genes, and even at 62, if i wanted to, I could do the whole '6 pack ab thing' but been there, done that, until I was around 50, and that's when the rest of the world started doing it.] And back in the 70s, my chest attracted tons of attention in San Francisco, so I DO have a perspective that others may not have.
Anyway, what's called a 'fetish' is no more than something more common in the American psyche, which things it's 'discovering' new sexual things, than the rest of the world, which is actually more worldly than Americans are (we just think we're 'it') about these things (they've been doing them for centuries). So, I have a perspective on the foot thing as being very similar to the 'chest thing,' the 'dick thing,' the 'breast thing' etc.

Back to you - and this IS about you. It's clear that it's embarrassing to you to like something you think of as 'forbidden.' Try to see it as 'cool', like being a Goth, a nerd or anything "different." It's your mind that's scaring you, not the actual reality itself, and the mind is the hardest thing to overcome (we've, most of us - not "ALL" as people continually - and mistakenly, like to say - had years of some kind of 'conditioning' that prevents us from being comfortable with who we are, and many of us suffer agony for it. And then we wonder why we don't have a relationship. WEll, you have to 'do the work' to get past some fears in life. And if you don't, it gets harder as you get older) If you're in a rural area, it's even harder to feel like there are others who share your particular desires ('fetish' if that makes you feel better). What part of the country do you live in? Any large cities near you? You'll usually find that in large cities, people are more sophisticated about sex. So, again, where are you?

[spring2blue]

I would say go with the flow. You might want to jack off a couple of times during the day. One of the cool things about wrestling around and just being into body contact, in general, is that you will have ample opportunity for feet contact. Don't forget to use your feet. Feet on feet contact is hot--and typically guys that are not into feet enjoy this or, at the least, don't mind it.

Good luck. Remember sex is about having fun. If sex with someone isn't fun it is time to find someone else to have sex with.

Peace.

[blablablabla]

1. If you shoot your load, so what? It's not like the sirens are going to start wailing & the cops are going to break in & arrest you! I think it's kind of hot when a guy comes just from contact, I take it as a sign he's really into me.


Well it's not very practical to be honest. Say it happens while wrestling, it would just create a mess in the middle of the fun. What do I do? walk up and go get some toilet paper and clean myself? Continue like nothing happened? Both options seem very embarrassing.


Also, unless you've already seen his feet, you may not even want to touch them. Have you seen them? Do you know that his feet turn you on or is it just that you want to touch SOMEone's feet just to 'get started' with the fetish.

Nope I have not seen his feet, and I'm actually very picky so chances are I don't even like them.

I may have expressed myself a bit wrong and given the impression that I'm only after his feet, which is wrong. I love the male body as a whole, except for the middle part :). Basically a guy with nothing but underwear on is about as hot as it gets for me. Take off the underwear, and I'm a little less interested :p.

I have seen pictures of his chest and they're really hot, so basically I should have fun either way. It's just that If his feet happen to be good looking, I have no idea how I'm going to react.

[blablablabla]

What part of the country do you live in? Any large cities near you? You'll usually find that in large cities, people are more sophisticated about sex. So, again, where are you?

I'm from a small country in Europe, we basically have NO foot fetish scene here at all. That doesn't really help me get anywhere :(.

[mike22222]

You've asked for help and guys have been very forthright and offered help. You shoot down everything offered to you. If that's your modus vivendi and you're convinced that nothing offered to you has any value, you're setting yourself up for disappointment. Your tone in your responses came off, to me, as dismissive if not condescending.

I hope you can find some happiness in this relationship and I wish you well in that pursuit.

[blablablabla]

Uh what? My posts weren't meant to be condescending at all. If anything, I was happy to see serious and helpful responses.

The first problem I just answered to keep the conversation going, since I'm still not really sure what I'm actually supposed to do if it happens. ftslave definitely made me put it in perspective though.

After rereading I can see my answers to mcleod could be seen as dismissive. But what I really was trying to do was try and shift the focus more towards my bigger problem (which is me being socially awkward and never having any intimate body contact before).
His post was mainly addressing the "issue" of my fetish, and while I definitely enjoyed reading it, I'm not at this point yet. I'm not going to this date with the goal of getting at his feet. But since this is a foot related board, I thought I might slip in a question about it.

I definitely wasn't clear in the first place and right now I feel like I'm just rambling, but my head is filled with a thousand different questions and worries.

Mea culpa